Crazy biker guy.

Okay, sooo.... once again something has happened that I meant to write a blog about but I was not able to get on the computer. Sigh!

(Go to Elena's blog for her part of the story)

So I think I'll write about it now.

A crazy biker-man tried to see if he could go through the truck. He found out he couldn't.

I"ll start at the beginning...

*creepy voice* Once upon a time....muahahahahaha!!! (No. I'm not that crazy :D )

After finishing yet another store in pressure-washing, Jay and I were happily driving out of the dock and to the road.

I was checking off a tick on an envelope while announcing we only had such and such stores to do.

I hear Jay suddenly go, "Uuuhh.." so I look up.

The truck was stopped, it's lights flashing, and Dad was walking around twirling his mustache.

Dad walked up to us and Jay asked what had happened, and Dad said,

"A biker hit us. We'll be here for a while."

So Jay parked, and I hopped out of the small truck, and ran to the big truck. I jumped on the stairs by the truck window.

"What happen?" I asked.

Apparently I caught Elena off guard 'cause she jumped. I laughed at her of course.

"A biker hit us." She said, ignoring my laughing.

"What?? How? What an idiot!" I said. Not loudly, but quietly.

Elena shushed me and pointed to the guy.

He had grey hair, some crooked teeth, and a big nose. He was about fifty something.

He was talking to some other dude on the sidewalk, waving his hands in our direction.

I burst out laughing.

Now, anyone who knows Elena and I will know we tease back and forth, and entertain each other in our doing so. And normally anyone who knows us wouldn't care.

As I said, I burst out laughing and began to make up a story of the stupid biker man.

I pretended I was on a bike, saying, "I THINK I can, I THINK I can, I THINK I can, I THINK I can!!! I'M INVINCIBLE!!! *Wham!* Ow.. I thought I could!!"

It made Elena laugh, and me laugh.

"What an idiot!" I whispered again. (Yes, I'm that evil)

"Shhhh!" Elena said.

I of course didn't 'sh' and went on teasing quietly. "He ruined our truck! WAAHH! Look at that dent!" There was no dent, but I'm sure you figured that out.

Suddenly I saw a red punch-buggy. I hollered at Jay, "Hey Jay! I see a punch buggy, but since you didn't see it, it doesn't count!!"

Jay said, "Whatever!"

And Elena and I began talking about punch buggies and how I was winning. Then I saw yet another red punch buggy. This one was coming our way.

"Hey Jay!" I yelled. "Punch buggy red! HAHA!"

He stuck his tongue out.

Then Elena and I began talking about traffic.

Then the cops got here.

I suddenly fell quiet.

And Elena suddenly had a bunch of jokes to crack about the biker, and I began to franticly shush her!

We both fell quiet and listened to the coppers and the dudemanwhothoughthecouldgothroughtrucksbutfiguredouthecan'tandsoheblamesDad.

"Sir, are you hurt?" The tall black cop asked.

I didn't hear what he answered, but Elena and I heard,
"And those two have been hurling insults at me!"

Elena and I looked at each other with one eyebrow raised and mouthed "What??"

But ya' know what? The cops didn't even look around. They both dismissed the comment and asked what happened.

Dad came up to me and said I should go to Jay.

I did.

He followed.

"So, you guys and head on over to Metro and start the bread." He told Jay.

Jay said yep, and we were on our way.

On the way, I was beginning to feel rage, and my stomach was churning. I ranted to Jay. I don't remember what I said, but I remember talking reeeeally fast and my voice rose up to a shriek.

I don't know why, but sometimes when I'm mad and ranting my voices gets really high.

Jay didn't say anything about it though.

"And, do you know what?" He ranted to me, "Before the cops came he was stomping around angrily, and when the got there he held his back and limped!
And do you know what else? When the cops got there he was like,
'Oooh, I'm not gonna go near him!' Yeah, because I'm gonna hop out of the truck and beat you up right in front of two cops!"

We pulled into the parking lot of out next store. I felt sick.

We went into the store to do the bread, which means that rotten or expired bread is thrown in a bin, still in packages. So, we have to go and pick up the bread and take it out of the package and throw just the bread in a bin so cows can eat it.

Normally there's three bins full of packaged bread, but not that day. Thirteen packages, maybe less. It went quickly.

When we were done, I went to sit in the truck, because we can't pressure wash the bins until they're empty.

Suddenly the big truck pulls into the parking lot, and comes to the dock. When Dad was parked, I hopped up to his window.

"So?" I asked.

"He can't press charges." Dad said, "Or else we could charge him for driving on the sidewalk, which is illegal."

I felt better, and I went to help Elena dump the bins.

We joked about the guy happily there.

*creepy voice* And so, in the end, the biker figured out he's an idiot....muahahahahaha!!!

A little late..

..But still, I have a fine excuse! I haven't been on the computer in FOREVAH!!

So...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRITTER!

AND MATTHEW!

AND HEIDI!

In honour of their birthdays, I'll write about what I did with them when we were little.

Christopher:

I don't remember why, but he and I were doing something we apparently needed aprons for.

I was about six-ish, and he was about three-ish.

We had hunted everywhere for aprons, and then I found two.

I somehow managed to "tie" them on us both, and as we were on our way downstairs, Critter asked, "What are these things called?"

I had absolutely no idea.

But I couldn't tell him that!

I was the big sister!

I had to know these things.

I racked my brain trying to think of a name for them.

"Uh...er...um...well... They're called aprons!" I said.

Satisfied, he went downstairs with me behind him.

Well,

for a while it didn't cross my mind again until I saw Linda putting an apron on.

"What are those called?" I asked.

Without really thinking about the answer she replied, "Aprons."

I was shocked.

I didn't lie.

I didn't have to confess to Christopher I had no clue what they were called.

I was still the big sister who knew it all!

Now I have told him about that day when we were little, and we both laughed.

I had invented a word that was the real name for aprons! I"m a genius!

Matthew and Heidi:

They were little, and big. Little enough that they still could sit in a car seat, big enough that they could eat baby cereal.

Whenever Rachel came over with them, I was always there with them. Begging to hold one and such.

One day she was over I volunteered to feed them.

So, while I was getting their cereal ready I gave them a rice cake.

As I walked to them, they saw the cereal. They stopped eating the rice cakes and began demanding rice cereal.

I picked up the rice cakes and handed them back to Matthew and Heidi.

"No." I said in a stern manner, "You must finish your rice cakes first, and THEN you get the cereal!"

I heard Rachel laugh behind me, so I turned. She was watching me.

I had no clue what on earth she was laughing about, so I just went back to taking care of the twins.

They obeyed and ate their rice cakes, now and then demanding some cereal, but I never gave them some until the rice cakes were gone. :)

Christopher is now eleven, Matthew and Heidi are three. Where did the time go?

As most of you know, we kill our own chickens.

It's not really fun. (Big shocker there, eh?)

Especially my job.
I have to hold the chicken as the ax comes down.

No matter what.

After the ax does its job, the chicken will wildly flap and kick.

It's not fun to hold a dead, bloody, flapping chicken.

As the chicken flaps, bloods shoots out from where the head used to be.

Anywhere.

And everywhere.

On ME!

Not fun.

Yesterday was one of those days.

The chicken spurted blood ALL OVER ME!!

My pants, my face, my arms, and my feet.

I stood there in shock as I looked at myself.

I sighed, because, really, what could I do about it?

("DARN CHICKEN! I'M GONNA KILL YO.....oh...wait....") No.

As I shuddered in disgust, I hear Christopher's voice.

Now, listen..or read... Critter has one of the easiest jobs.
All he has to do is hold the rope that is around the chicken's head as the ax comes down.
Then he has to put the head in a bucket. That's it. So simple.

While I'm there dripping with blood, I hear him say,

"EW! GROSS! I got some blood on me!"

I look to see.

One dot.

One.

One tiny dot on his pants.

"Weeeeelll now! That's just to baaAad!" I said.

He looked at me.

His face looked hilarious.

I continued to tease. "It's so sad you ruined your pants with that speck."

I walked away to get the next chicken, while Linda was laughing.

20 more chickens to do.

Yea.